


Humiliation

by LeDiz



Series: The 48: StH 2020 [3]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Clothes, Gen, humans are gross, the stuff they cover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22951840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeDiz/pseuds/LeDiz
Summary: Different people find different things embarrassing. Some things are just… personal, you know?
Series: The 48: StH 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641913
Comments: 9
Kudos: 242





	Humiliation

They’d discussed it in depth, and come to an agreement: the gloves were weird.

Of all the things that were weird about the newest member of the Wachowski household, Sonic’s gloves were, strangely, the weirdest thing about him. They made absolutely no sense.

Jojo had unearthed his current footwear from her closet, but before that his barely held together shoes and socks had definitely been stolen from humans. They hadn’t really fit, and where they weren’t falling apart they were worn thin enough that he’d definitely damaged his feet even bothering with them. Meanwhile, he had perfectly fitting white gloves with almost invisible stitching that wrapped around fingers shaped like no human had ever had.

“And he never takes them off, have you noticed that?” Tom asked as they got ready for bed. “He even washes his hands with his gloves on.”

“Well, I suppose if you don’t take them off for anything…” she said, but she was frowning thoughtfully. “He was even eating that chilli dog with them on. He licked them clean to get the sauce off.”

“And I don’t know; it doesn’t feel like one of those things where he just doesn’t know better.”

Maddie had to agree with that one. There were plenty of things that they’d recognised Sonic did because he didn’t have the social experience to know what was and wasn’t acceptable. Tom had already had the incredibly embarrassing conversation with him about personal space and boundaries. Sonic had been completely bewildered by Tom’s embarrassment at being caught getting into the shower, and had complained about Maddie and Tom being gross when he’d walked in on them making out in their own closed bedroom. His argument was that when humans didn’t want people to come in, they _locked_ the door, and even that didn’t keep out half the friends and family members he’d seen wanting to hang out together, so he didn’t see why their family should be different. He’d also given Tom a very weird look when he’d tried to point out humans were embarrassed by their own nakedness.

“You sure don’t seem like it,” he’d said, but agreed to knock before entering a closed bathroom or bedroom.

On the other hand, they’d both seen him either watching or openly copying them sometimes, trying to learn things he wasn’t familiar with. He was learning table manners by copying Tom, right down to his habit of cutting his first bite but then pausing with the mouthful on his raised fork to take a drink before actually eating it. He was apparently refusing to give up on learning Maddie’s entire exercise routine despite her reminding him that his spine was definitely not supposed to bend backward the way hers could. He seemed to believe it was important to know how to do everything they did in order to be ‘normal’.

But the gloves were nothing like that. He wasn’t wearing them to copy human clothing, because he’d never even tried to bring attention to them the way he did when wearing hats or shirts. In fact, he never paid his gloves even the slightest mind – so much so that if Tom hadn’t actually touched Sonic’s hands himself, he probably would have thought they weren’t gloves so much as very strange looking fur. They didn’t come off or shift. Ever.

“Where would he have even found them?” Tom wondered, lying back against the pillows with his hands behind his head. “They’re not snow gloves, or gardening gloves.”

“You know what they actually remind me of?” Maddie asked. “You know Bugs Bunny?”

Tom blinked at her for a few seconds, then snorted. “He’s the weirdest looking cartoon character I’ve ever seen,” he said with a grin. “We should find a Loony Tunes marathon on Netflix this weekend and see what he thinks.”

“He must already know them. He – oh,” she gasped, raising a hand to her mouth. “Oh, you don’t think – oh, Tom…”

“What?”

“I just… oh, I hope not…”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“In cartoons, talking animals always wear gloves,” she said slowly. “You don’t think he was trying to match what he saw, do you?”

Tom blinked again, the humour fading as he realised that was probably likely. It would probably explain everything actually, including why Sonic never drew attention to it – if he thought it was just what he was _supposed_ to do… Like that would make him more acceptable to humans…

“I’ll talk to him,” Maddie promised as she got into bed. “I don’t like the idea of him thinking of them like some kind of status symbol.”

It did feel a bit like a mark of shame. Somehow, it only got worse when Maddie sat Sonic down the next day and his reaction to her asking to talk to him about his gloves was a visible flinch.

“What about them?” he asked, pulling his hands up and quickly looking them over. “They look fine.”

“No, I’m sure they are,” she said gently, “but I just wanted to talk to you about… Sonic, you don’t have to wear them.”

Being a vet, Maddie was familiar with what happened when skin turned red beneath fur, which was why she could recognise Sonic immediately blushing. “Say what now?”

“I know you probably saw a lot of things that suggested ani- people like you should wear them,” she began delicately, only to wince and shift closer as Sonic started leaning awkwardly backward, “but it’s really not necessary, Sonic. It’s not any kind of rule.”

“Ooh-kay,” he said. “Look, Pretzel Lady –”

“Sonic,” she warned, because she was trying to get him out of the nicknaming habit.

He didn’t immediately continue, his eyes flicking over her like he was trying to figure something out. “Uh huh… Look, if this is some kind of reverse psychology thing about before, we totally don’t need to do it. I got the message. Boundaries. Love ’em. Humans have their hang-ups and I gotta deal with that, I’m okay,” he said, and she shook her head, not following.

“What? Sonic, this isn’t about boundaries, it’s about you, and making sure you feel comfortable.”

“Gotta say I’m not exactly feeling it right now,” he said, and she sighed, trying not to get frustrated. Sometimes, dealing with Sonic really did feel like talking to a difficult child.

“This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Maybe this can just be something we try, okay? See how you like not wearing them?”

“Yeah, no,” he said, holding up his hands like she needed to be fended off. “No, no, no, no…. no. Not necessary.”

“Sonic –”

“I get it. I have totally gotten it. I am _down_. I won’t even touch your laundry. Honestly, I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t ask me to do that anyways. Will not comment on the swimsuits either. So we’re good in this hood. Cool? Cool. I’ll just be outta here, bye.”

And then he vanished. Maddie blinked at the place he’d been, feeling even more confused than ever.

On the other side of town, Tom was just settling in for the morning office shift when the door banged and he looked up in time to see Sonic vault onto his desk. He looked disturbed, so Tom put down the file he’d been about to open and immediately focussed. “What’s wrong?”

Sonic opened his mouth, stopped, seemed to think better of it, and then leaned over to peer at Tom’s face suspiciously.

“Sonic?” he prompted, wondering if he needed to call Wade in early. “Everything okay?”

He leaned back again. “Maddie’s being weird. Are you weird too?”

Okay, so put a hold on Wade. He raised an eyebrow instead. “Sonic, my scale of weird’s been broken since the day I met you. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“She’s talking about not wearing gloves,” he said, raising his hands to show them. “That kind of weird.”

Tom paused. He’d been pretty grateful when Maddie volunteered to have the conversation, because he never felt particularly prepared to talk about Sonic’s many, many issues. “What’s weird about it?”

Sonic’s jaw dropped a little and he leaned forward, then abruptly yanked back with a shake of his head. “It’s a human thing. It’s gotta be a human thing. _Humans_ are weird. Cool, glad we got that sorted out,” he said, and then awkwardly pointed finger guns at Tom, obviously trying for an overly-casual tone as he said, “Alien hedgehog insight for ya, Donut Lord. Pass it on. I’m already way too familiar with your Calvin Kleins, but I’m not exactly askin’ you to go without ’em. Let’s have the same boundaries about handwear, yeah?”

“What?” he asked. “Are you comparing your gloves to my underwear?”

“Man, that sounds gross out loud,” he said. “No, it – I mean – yeah, kinda. I mean – ugh, can we not talk about this?”

“You brought it up,” he pointed out, and Sonic flailed his arms wildly.

“No, I didn’t! Maddie did! You guys are making this weird!” he cried. “Quit being weird!”

Tom shifted in his chair, leaning back with one arm braced on his arm rest. “Not followin’ you here, bud. Since when are gloves the equivalent of underwear? You don’t pee through your hands.” Then he paused, suddenly realising aside from one fart joke and their increasing knowledge of his appetite, he knew literally nothing about Sonic’s digestive system. “Do you?”

Sonic gaped at him. “I’ve been watching you for years. How am I just realising how crazy you are?”

He gave that the unimpressed look it deserved. “So if they’re just hands, then what’s the big deal? You don’t need to cover them up.”

“You – backwards, simple people!” he said. “All mammals wear gloves! It’s _hygienic_!”

“You know humans are mammals, right?”

“I do,” he said pointedly, folding his arms over his chest. “But y’know, y’gotta make exceptions for simple, backwards cultures.”

“You know, it’s always so strange to me when the guy who used to live in a cave tries to tell me he’s from a more advanced civilisation,” he drawled, mostly because he was starting to feel like Sonic considered him not wearing gloves equivalent to an ancient tribe that didn’t believe in pants. “What do you mean it’s hygienic? You don’t take off your gloves to eat.”

“Ooh, I’ve been wanting to say this for years about that,” Sonic said, his ears pricking up before he made a big show of flattening them and pulling back with a disgusted grimace. “Ewwwww.”

“What? What do you mean ‘ew’?”

“Dude, eating with bare skin?” he asked. “D’you know how gross skin is when it’s not covered by fur? Dead skin is like, constantly falling off, and it sweats, and then that sweat mixes with like all that gross bacteria and dirt and then it cakes in and you guys touch your food with it! Euurghhh!”

That… was all true and making Tom very aware of the fact he couldn’t remember the last time he cleaned his nails. But still. “Your gloves don’t exactly have a forcefield against dirt.”

“Yeah, but at least they keep the sweat in!” he pointed out. “Sweat is stuff coming out of you, you’re not supposed to cover your food in it. So gross!”

And now he was making it sound like not wearing gloves was the equivalent of not washing your hands after peeing. Tom closed his eyes in the deepest wish to just forget this entire conversation. “Okay, let’s just – let’s just agree to never mention this again after one very simple question.”

“What question?” Sonic asked warily.

“Where did you get them?” he asked. “They’re not from Earth, right?”

“ _Simple_ question? Who asks where someone got their gloves?” he asked the wider world, but then sighed and rolled his eyes. “I brought them from home. They grow to fit as needed. Obviously. Now can we please never, ever mention this again, and can you and every other human on Earth please consider getting your own?”

Tom stared at him for a few seconds, once again realising that fuzzy blue aliens that could move at speeds he couldn’t really fathom were not actually as human as they seemed. He could kind of get the thought process, but it was such a foreign way of thinking that he couldn’t bring himself to take it seriously. He smiled lazily. “I’m absolutely going to mention this again. Forever. Because it annoys you.”

Sonic pulled back with a betrayed gasp before abruptly leaning back in with a pointing finger. “I’m gonna tell Maddie about why I call you Donut Lord.”

He jerked upright in his chair. “You will not.”

“Totally doing it.”

“No.”

“Right now. Going to tell her right now. She’s gonna think about it all day at work. She’s gonna buy doughnuts on the way home. I’m gonna make a little army of them on the kitchen counter. We’ll ask you to give us a presentation as el presidente of the doughnut supremacy. That’s happening.”

Tom considered all the ramifications for his future dignity, and decided he could find something else to annoy Sonic with. He smirked and held out his very naked hand. “It’s a deal: we never mention either of these things again.”

Sonic made a face at his open palm. “When was the last time you washed that thing?”

“Not sure,” he said brightly, and Sonic groaned but reluctantly shook it.

“So gross,” he muttered, and then disappeared in a flutter of Tom’s loose folders.

He sat back with a chuckle, but couldn’t help looking down at his hand. Now he was thinking about it… palms did sweat a lot. In fact, humans sweated a lot. With only so much hair to absorb it. And then they touched a lot of crap which probably wasn’t all that clean, with no cloth or hair to catch and brush away the dirt and…

Aliens maybe a point in thinking they were really kind of incredibly gross.

Ew.

**Author's Note:**

> Every year or so, I write a story that reminds me I'm not funny... at least this time I have something to blame. The 3rd 15 Table is Comedy/Humour, and of the options, the only one I could think of that I could maybe do was 'humiliation' and even then, I don't think I succeeded.
> 
> Anyway. The 48 are a collection of stories on my harddrive - unedited, often unfinished. The Sonic 2020 ones are from an old LiveJournal theme collection called 15 Tables. If you can find it, I recommend it - it's a fun exercise.


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